


Wanting in the Wings

by GeckoGirl89



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Cordelia POV, Denial of Feelings, Episode: s03e13 Waiting In The Wings, F/M, Loneliness, Masturbation, Misunderstandings, Multiple Orgasms, Nipple Play, POV Female Character, Pining, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Sexual Fantasy, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Vaginal Fingering, Vibrators
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-27
Updated: 2016-10-27
Packaged: 2018-08-27 09:55:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8397124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeckoGirl89/pseuds/GeckoGirl89
Summary: The only man who had seen her naked body recently was Dennis during a bath, and usually the bath bubbles covered the important parts.Until tonight. Images of Angel lowering the straps of her dress, kissing down her collarbone, and over her stomach flooded through her mind.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place in a slightly altered version of 3.13 where a client in distress shows up in the middle of Angel's speech to Cordelia instead of the Groosalug. This has been an idea for a few Cangel fanfics before, and I decided to write my own spin on it. I was inspired to write this piece by recalling how Cordelia in 3.14 seemed so sexually frustrated because she couldn't have sex with the Groosalug. I think we all know who she really wanted since she cut his hair and dressed him to make him look like Angel. ;-) I think that if Groo hadn't shown up, Cordelia might have had a chance to realize her feelings, but I still kept her portrayal close to canon by showing her lack of awareness of Angel's feelings and including Cordy making some attempts to ignore how she feels.
> 
> I was also inspired to write this piece by xlivvielockex's fantastic story, " _Cosmo’s_ Hands-On Guide To Solo Sex" (http://www.stranger-things.net/justfic/index/l/livvie/cosmos.htm). It also features Cordelia masturbating to thoughts of Angel, but I think my fic is sufficiently different enough to not be copying her work too closely.
> 
> The title is a play on the name of the episode.

Cordy was getting caught up in what Angel was saying after the ballet, but, ultimately, she was glad that a client showed up in the middle of Angel's speech with a sudden crisis. As the team changed out of their evening wear and went to go clean out the small demon nest, it gave Cordelia a chance to think over her situation. Angel almost seemed to be repulsed by the thought of them together, wanting to "wipe away" the memory of their backstage rendezvous, and that hurt Cordy more than it should have. She had felt flattered when Angel called her a truly extraordinary woman, but then he followed it up by saying they had been friends for a long time. That should have made Cordelia feel better about Angel's lack of attraction to her, but it didn't. Cordy hadn't been feeling the way she should about Angel for a while now, and that was becoming an issue for her.

After the team finished the job and returned to the hotel, Cordelia feigned tiredness and made her excuses to leave before Angel could finish talking to her. She really didn't want to be given the "we should just be friends" speech. She already knew they could never be more than friends, but Cordy still thought she might cry if she heard Angel tell her that. She had felt embarrassed more than enough for one night.

When she finally arrived at her apartment, evening gown tossed over her shoulder, Dennis greeted her as she opened the door. A notepad and pencil hovered in front of her face. _How was your evening?_

Cordelia sighed, unsure how to sum up her evening for her ghost. "Interesting. I think I'm gonna take a bath now."

The notepad turned away from her, and the pencil scratched on it for a moment. The notepad flipped back to face her. _Want me to get the loofah?_

Cordelia laughed at what Dennis had written. Her conversation with Wesley earlier that day made it feel like a hilarious, pathetic coincidence. The notepad waved, and Cordelia knew Dennis wanted an answer. "No thanks. I need some time alone."

Dennis ruffled his fingers through her hair as a goodbye and then disappeared to wherever he went when Cordelia asked for alone time. Cordy locked her front door behind her and placed her keys and purse on the kitchen table. She went to her bedroom, hung up her dress, and took out a set of pajamas. In the bathroom, she prepared a bubble bath and disrobed.

After relaxing in the tub for several minutes, Cordelia's mind wandered over her day. She resolved not to think of the ballet and instead thought of what happened earlier in the day. She remembered admitting to Wesley this morning how she hadn't been getting any lately. Well, "lately," would be stretching it since she hadn't had sex with anyone since Wilson Christopher. At first, she didn't feel as if she could trust a new man even after a few dates, but lately her desire to date had plummeted as well, for reasons Cordelia didn't want to particularly examine. The only man who had seen her naked body recently was Dennis during a bath, and usually the bath bubbles covered the important parts.

 _Until tonight._ Images of Angel lowering the straps of her dress, kissing down her collarbone, and over her stomach flooded through her mind. Cordy's nipples hardened at the memory, and she moved her legs apart a little to ease the ache of arousal at the center of her thighs. She closed her eyes and moaned as she thought of how Angel might have continued if the masked men hadn't interrupted them. She squeezed her breasts, circling her nipples with her thumbs and imagined that Angel had removed her bra and was touching her with his bare hands. She gathered some of the bath water in her fingers and let it roll over her nipples, picturing Angel licking and sucking there. She would card her fingers through his dark, spiky hair while he worshipped her breasts. Cordy's breath shuddered at the thought.

Cordelia widened her legs and rested her feet on the outside of the tub as she imagined Angel's mouth leaving her breasts and trailing down her stomach just as it had in the ballerina's dressing room. She trailed her right hand slowly down her body while her left hand continued to fondle her breasts. When she finally reached her center, she trailed her fingers over her mound and shivered at the first feather light touch to her outer labia. Cordy moaned and threw her head back as she pictured Angel's head between her thighs, teasingly licking so close to where she wanted him to be. Angel would probably be amazing at giving head. _He doesn't even need to breathe._ Cordy panted and rubbed her breast more roughly at the thought.

Cordy's fingers drifted to her inner labia and she moved her thumb to flick against her clitoris. Her breathing sped up, and she rocked her hips upward into her hand as she fantasized that she was gripping her fingers in Angel's hair as he pleased her with his mouth. Cordelia imagined pushing her pussy against Angel's face and pictured him moaning and enjoying her aggressive, forward behavior.

Cordy's thumb rubbed her clit harder as she plunged a finger inside her vagina. She eased it in and out, imagining that it was Angel fucking her with his tongue. She writhed on her finger and added another to make the sensation more realistic. She tilted her hips upward and gasped as her fingers brushed against her g spot. Angel, in her imagination, smirked against her proudly and plunged his tongue inside her over and over again, hitting her G-spot with every movement. She pounded her fingers inside her vagina hard and fast as she increased the pace of her strokes against her clit. Her thighs tensed as she neared her climax, and she pictured herself pressing her thighs against the side of Angel's head. The idea sent Cordy hurtling over the edge, and she spasmed against her own hand, whispering Angel's name.

Cordelia licked her suddenly dry lips and opened her eyes once her orgasm was over. She removed her fingers and felt strangely empty when the digits were no longer inside her. The orgasm felt good, but she still felt vaguely unsatisfied.

She got out of the bathtub and pulled the drain. She watched the water swirl away as she towel dried herself, wondering why she felt a pang of loneliness when touching herself was supposed to make her feel better. She had pictured Angel going down on her, but how would the scene continue after he made her come against his mouth? The answer came to her as she remembered how she had said that the count had power while possessed by the prima ballerina. Angel, possessed by the ballerina's lover, had replied by pressing his thick, rigid cock against Cordelia's center. Even through all of their clothing, the sensation had made Cordelia moan and roll her eyes back in pleasure, and the memory sent a wave of arousal through her body. _Angel definitely proved he wasn't a eunuch tonight._ The ballerina had made Cordy say that she was only alive with Angel inside her. Cordy wanted to feel alive too.

Cordy blinked her eyes open after unknowingly closing them at her erotic thoughts. She knew she could never feel Angel's dick inside her, but there was a close substitute in her bottom dresser drawer. She quickly finished drying herself and strolled naked into her bedroom, knowing that clothes would only get in the way of what she had planned. She opened the bottom drawer and took out a vibrator with a clitoral stimulation attachment and the bottle of lube she used with it. She shut the drawer and slowly sat down on her bed. For a moment, she just held the vibrator, feeling the weight and thickness of it in her hand and bit her lip as she imagined that she had unbuttoned Angel's pants and lowered his boxers just enough to free his dick. She wrapped her hand around the vibrator and imagined Angel's face as she touched him, how his eyes would close at the sensation, breaking his intense stare at her. She imagined how his cock would look in her hand, thick, uncut, and dripping with pre-cum. Cordy tilted her hips to rub her clit against the mattress. She couldn't wait anymore.

Cordelia clicked open the bottle of lube and squirted some into her hand. She rubbed it all over the toy, imagining that she was rubbing Angel's dick instead, picturing how he would curse at the pleasure she gave him and grinning at the thought. Once the toy had a thick application of lubricant, she lay back on the bed and spread her legs to accommodate Angel's imaginary body. She lowered her right hand between her legs and rubbed the toy teasingly across her opening and clit, picturing how Angel might tease her before she begged him to fuck her already. Cordy clenched the sheets of her bed in her left hand as she slowly pushed the vibrator inside in imitation of how Angel would enter her, careful to avoid hurting her. She gasped when she pictured his face over hers, holding her focus with an intense, tender gaze.

For a moment, Cordy just held the vibrator inside her and adjusted to the size. This was what she had been missing all along. She relished the way the toy stretched her slightly and how it made her feel completely full. The lube made the vibrator feel slightly cool against her heated sex, just like Angel's cock might feel inside her. Caught up in the fantasy, she moaned at the idea of Angel being the one to make her feel this way and clenched her inner muscles against the vibrator. She imagined Angel grunting lowly as he tried to control himself and began thrusting in and out of her with gentle motions. Cordelia sighed at the feeling, slipping the vibrator in and out of herself and lifting her left hand to massage her breasts as the fantasy continued.

Soon, Cordelia was ready for more. She turned a dial at the base of the vibrator to a medium setting and whimpered as she felt the currents against her clitoris and vagina. She sped up her motions and pictured Angel pumping in and out of her more quickly, massaging her breasts with one hand and pressing her hand into the divan with the other. Cordy liked the idea of him holding her down like that. She tilted her pelvis upward more as she imagined herself setting her knees against the side of Angel's waist to bring him in even closer and deeper to her. The new angle made the vibrator press against Cordy's G-spot and clit at the same time, and she groaned and threw her head back at the fantastic sensations. Angel would press himself harder and faster inside her, and Cordy would wrap her legs around his waist.

Cordy turned the vibrator to its highest setting and hammered it inside her at a furious pace. She imagined Angel bucking wildly into her, losing any semblance of control. She wanted to see him come undone because of her. _Maybe he would even vamp out._ Cordelia grunted at the idea, snapping her hips upward to meet the motions of the vibrator and clutching her breast in an almost painful grip. She pictured her nails digging into Angel's back as she lost control at the same time he did.

Angel would struggle to maintain control as he came close to coming. Cordy imagined his feral yellow eyes looking into hers as he brought his hand between them to stroke her clit. She imagined squeezing him with her walls as she came close to climaxing and moaning his name. Angel's thrusts would be erratic as he went over the edge, and she imagined him burying his head against her neck, fangs dangerously close to her pulse point as he came inside her. _"Cordy, ah, Cordy. I love you."_

The combination of Angel's imaginary words and the imaginary feel of his cool semen inside her hurtled Cordelia to the most intense orgasm of her life. She trembled against the toy and screamed Angel's name as she came. A few seconds after her climax, she hissed as her vibrator continued to stimulate her oversensitive clit. She quickly turned off the device and removed it, tossing it carelessly next to her on the bed. She needed a few moments to recover. 

Cordy gulped in lungfuls of air and stared at her bedroom ceiling. As her brain function began to return, Cordy winced while she remembered what Angel had said at the end of her fantasy. God, what was she doing to herself? It was bad enough to have such intense, lustful thoughts about a friend who couldn't even have sex without potentially turning into an evil, soulless bastard, but loving Angel was another level of insanity entirely.

Cordelia felt drained and physically sated, but her mind was racing with things she didn't want to think about now. Resolved to ignore her thoughts, Cordelia rose from the bed, picked up the vibrator, and went to her bathroom. A few minutes later, she returned to her room, dressed for sleep and with a cleaned vibrator. She walked past the bed and picked up the bottle of lubricant that had been knocked to the floor in her forceful exertions. She put both items in the bottom drawer of her dresser and shut the drawer.

Cordelia lay on her side on the bed and pulled the covers over her. She felt vulnerable and lonely and hugged the comforter to her chest. She wished Angel was here. Too tired to suppress the longing, Cordy imagined Angel's cool body lying against her, chest pressed tightly against her back, arm draped over her stomach, and leg sandwiched between hers. Exhausted, she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep despite her lingering concerns. She would deal with them tomorrow.


End file.
